5 mins read
I am sure you are wondering “what the fuck is a Toltec parasite?” The tales of the Toltec parasite are embedded in the Toltec empire which existed as far back as the 10th century. If you have ever experienced trauma (heart-break, the death of a loved one, failure) you may be able to relate to this and if you haven’t, follow carefully as this may help you in future or it may help you to assist someone else.
The Toltec parasite largely remains dormant within you, silently waiting for you to experience trauma, before it springs up to attack your mind.
Let’s take Immanuel for example, who has first-hand experience of the power of the Toltec parasite. Imma was just dumped by his long-term girlfriend, Marvis, because he had been unfaithful to her. Imma was in shock, he never thought this day will come. Different memories rushed into his head, he could not go a moment without thinking about her. He would go on his timeline and see bare tweets on heartbreak; it felt like the world was fucking with his head.
For the first time in his life he realised how powerless he was, he had no control over his emotions. He always hard a dark room, where he could store secrets that he never wanted to think about. The trauma of the break-up left the door of that dark room wide open and every dark secret he had was let loose. The Toltec parasite was having a swell time. It sprang into action, talking shit to him, “You don’t deserve her!, You killed your relationship with your bare hands, now she is going to find someone that will do what you were never capable of doing!”
The Toltec parasite had hijacked his mind, it was in full control. Imma was full of regrets, which led him to severe depression, he hated himself for what he had done to her. He will give anything to go back and change the past. The harder he tried to control the parasite, the stronger the parasite grew. “You are the creator of your own misfortune”, the parasite said, “All you know how to do is to fuck things up, this is who you are, you aren’t capable of change, if you are given another chance you will fuck it up.”
The mental slowly started affecting the physical; there was a drop in Imma’s academic performance, he lacked appetite and started losing weight. He couldn’t sleep well, the few times he slept, he woke up with nightmares of her moving on. Suicidal thoughts start creeping in slowly. The parasite tells him, “E no go bad if you off yourself ohh, at least your papa and mama get another pikin”. “Maybe she go reason you after you don die, she fit follow them chop rice for your burial, it said cackling.”
IS THERE ANY LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL?
The story above was used to depict the power of the Toltec parasite. I am sure you are all wondering if the Toltec parasite can be killed? I am sorry to burst your bubble but the answer is a big NO. You just have to accept that the Toltec parasite will always be there. The Toltec parasite is you or at least it is a part of you. The solution is to learn how to co-exist with the parasite.
The journey to co-exist with the parasite starts from forgiveness. You need to forgive yourself. You can’t keep blaming yourself for the mistakes you have made, we are all human beings capable of making mistakes. When the Toletic parasite knows you have forgiven yourself, you have stripped its power to make you feel guilty.
The second step is to love yourself. How do you expect someone else to love you, if you don’t love yourself? Think deeply about every good quality you possess, and remind yourself daily of all these qualities. When you constantly remind yourself of how special you are, you will unconsciously start feeling special.
The third step is to understand that nothing is permanent. Samar Habib reminds me that “circumstances, feelings, desires and everything under the sun are temporary, nothing last forever, everything is ever-changing”. I guess what she was trying to say is that embrace the pain, and it will be gone before you know it.
Lastly, you need to get comfortable with the fact that you cannot change the past. Focus on making yourself a better person and just maybe the victim of your mistake(s) can believe how sorry you are. It is important to do this for yourself and not for the victim, because, you don’t have control over the victim’s emotions. You don’t know if the victim will ever forgive you, so get better for yourself and not because you crave the forgiveness of your victim.
I know all these is easier said than done, but we owe it ourselves to be happy with who we see in the mirror everyday. So please anyone who is battling the Toltec parasite, try and call a truce. Make peace with the voice within you.
Chao.
Mindsmash 