I have always despised societal gender expectations. The woman, the homemaker, and the man the financial provider. Each gender has been consciously or unconsciously trained to accept these roles as a fundamental part of life.
Most of my life has been an uphill battle against these roles forced on us solely because of what we have in between our legs. What if I don’t want to be a provider? What if I am not wired in that way?
Nobody cares anymore, the world doesn’t care about the answers to these questions. The cry for help from millions of young men burdened with the pressure to provide is of no use.
I feel like a tool for provision. This is my essence in a familial setting, without providing money I lack value.
No matter how much I fight him, patriarchy still emerges victorious. I still have the natural instinct to provide. This may be epigenetics at work. I have inherited my ancestors’ desire to provide, and I can’t escape the generational curse on my forefather, Adam to till the land.
Society has broken me, I have accepted my faith as “Mr. Provider”. My greatest fear is one which many men have; if I am unable to provide what will become of me. This has become my greatest nightmare.
They say “Broke men don’t deserve pussy”. This is the reality of life, a sad reality every man must live by.
p.s. yes I am feeling sorry for myself, I know.
feature picture by Billy Pasco, unsplash.com.
Mindsmash 